Trust Issues Disrupts Intimacy

The family was off to early morning prayer two Saturdays ago when we saw that one vehicle couldn’t hold all of us (the In-laws were staying for the weekend). So mommy suggested that we ask dad to come for us too. I was the last to ready so I waited for him. I walked out to where I would meet him and sat on a stone. All of a sudden I heard the dog a few feet away from me started to do some dangerous growling. Fear took such a hold of me that my knees became totally weak. If I wanted to run, I would not have been able to.

This fear of strange dogs started a few years ago when my neighbor moved in with a pit bull and a rottweiler. One day he tied the pit bull on a building block and we were outside. So we asked him to tie him up but he didn’t and the dog pursued me and I fell and got a nasty cut. I forgave him but I still have the scars emotionally and physically.

Now, back to the nerve-racking encounter, I experienced a battle whether to trust in God’s protection or try to work out things by myself. Long short of the story my father came shortly after and I left analyzing how much I really trusted in God. I found that I didn’t as much as I should.

I started to do some more honest reflection and I found because of my serious trust issues with humans, it’s affecting how much I trust The Divine. I found that when faced with a problem, I tend to use logic to find a solution, rather than to pray. I reflected on how much I worry when things are not going the way I want it to. Also, how much I don’t acknowledge Him in every single thing that I do and it shows how much I don’t trust in his promises when I get impatient. This in turn affects my relationship with Him (without faith I cannot please Jesus). I usually write when I have overcome an issue but I am literally experiencing this as I type! I found some root issues that needed to be dealt with.

Image result for trust in god quotes

Direct Betrayal

We even see this in scripture, Jacob betraying his brother, Judas and Jesus, Delilah and Samson, Saul and David and the list continues.
This impacts me greatly because I tend to believe the best about people so I see all their actions through those lenses. But when the reality sets in, I am almost in shock if it is even the same person. However, has God ever betrayed me? He might have withheld some things that I greatly desired but it was for my good. So, no, never.

Indirect Betrayal

I think this one is the greatest stronghold over me. I have wiped too many tears, heard too many stories to just be too trusting. Other persons may have trust issues because of betrayal they have observed or experienced from an entity, for example, parents divorcing, trusting in a business product or service that failed, trusted in an institution (eg. church) and they failed on keeping their promise. Truth is the arm of flesh will always fail us. That’s why the bible warns us to not put all our trust in humans. We are imperfect after all. Is this excuse enough to not trust the only true and living God?

I meditated on the scripture above while compiling and I was confounded, (“Those who hope in me will not be disappointed“). The very fact that He is God means He is infallible, immutable, perfect and all powerful. I find my understanding to be alarmingly far from the reality of God’s power. My prayer from now on is for understanding. Knowing is one aspect but to understand is completely different. I want my faith to be without borders. My faith to stand when my eyes see the opposite of God’s promises. Also for it to increase as I wait for them. I desire for the strongholds of doubt to be rooted up and a mustard seed of faith to be planted. I have some serious studying to do as faith comes by interacting with His word. I need to learn to be contented with the blessings He is already giving me and not allow my desires to control me. I hope you fully trust God but if not join me on this path to believing in the unseen. You can listen this song by Hillsong United, “Oceans.” Please don’t forget to like, share and follow
(buttons below) for more inspiration!


Firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Trust

Please share below other scriptures that inspire faith in comments section. Let’s help each other! Until next time, remember you are precious.

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