“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.” ~ Charles Spurgeon
I have hated the fact that anxiety is a constant struggle. There are days when I imagine packing it up in a bag and leaving it behind. I am ashamed that it is taking this long to just cast all my cares on God. But in the mess of things, God has made me to find beauty in the ashes.
Anxiety is the symptom of unbelief. My intention is not to excuse it but to share a principle. Paul shared in Roman 8. It says, “All things work together for good to them that love God, to them that are the called unto His purpose.” ‘All things’, includes the circumstances that reveals my unbelief.
I took that psalms lightly in my earlier Christian walk. Jamaicans seem to have an unhealthy attachment to the book. I grew up hearing persons quoting verses to bash enemies. Sometimes even asking for protection from evil while doing evil. Preachers gave the impression that it is a soft ball book. Saying, “If all you did was read a psalm, you didn’t really spend time with God.” It wasn’t until I got older that I fell in love with them. Me and my million feelings found not only the familiar world wind of unpredictability but the honesty and steadying of God’s hand. The writers of the book of Psalms were instrumental in my pursuit of authenticity with God. Asaph is one of those writers. In chapter 73, he shared an experience I go back to ever so often. Why do ungodly people prosper while godly people suffer? While it mentions nothing of anxiety, he says something at the end that is true of any struggle. He says,
“But it is good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I may declare all thy works.” (Verse 28)
He found answers only when He went to the sanctuary.
He says in essence, it was good not that I doubted but, that my doubts led me to God. Asaph says, “My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” (Verse 26)
Every struggle and sin that leads you closer to God is not wasted. Look around you.
Notice how your roots had no other choice but to grow deeper in God’s truth. Notice how your prayers lost the air of pretense and revealed your heart. Notice how God spoke to the hidden places of your mind. Notice how the light found a way to consume your darkness. Notice God fulfilled his promise of never leaving. Day by day, your faith is growing. So today, maybe it is your first time, maybe it won’t be your last but, thank God for the struggles that pressed you into Him.
Give thanks for how far you have come.