The Bridgerton Effect

Audio: Shamarie Headley

Before you think I am here to judge you if you have watched it, I have read the book and many others too from the author. Let me just say, if you love the romantic and sensual vibe of the show, the book is wayyy better. I am a reader and in my younger years; they have not always been on the spiritual side, rather, they never were. Hunger Games, Twilight, romance stories my friends wrote, and so many others I found online kept me quite occupied. I get it, romance series, movies, books, gif, memes all of them are captivating. Especially for a teenager or young adult who longs to experience it themselves, it’s tasting the rainbows without eating the skittles. So this is what I would say to my younger self before I read, “The Duke and I.”

Hello love,

No one prepared you for this, these surprising years of sexual curiosity. No one told you, your feelings were natural, that you weren’t dirty if you found boys attractive. I know you see others in relationships. They usually won’t end well. You might even feel that you are missing out, but the boys will be too immature to give you the love you desire. You are immature to fully appreciate the beauty of the dance between the sexes. You might think you get to experience love without actually having it by reading this book but as you will look back on those moments and say they didn’t satisfy, no, they awakened a greater thirst for what was natural yet wrong in the present situation. It wasn’t love that was awoken, it was lust. Untamed passions that clawed for satisfaction now.

When you grow older, these images and ideals will scar you deeper than you expected. When you learn that in the end, your heart was searching not merely for romantic love but to be found, to be seen, to be fully accepted. As you grow older, you will be fully known and loved, but the memories etched in your mind will make your heart wander over and over again. Trying to grasp that which is fleeting. Because it seems easy. Easy to hide in, easy to settle for, because it is familiar. It holds no eternal weight. You will find it empty, EVERYTIME. You will have to pray for God to fix your thoughts, to heal your perceptions and reign in your urges. You will beg Him not to want to read it anymore, to free you from your presumptuous behavior, to awaken your limping conscience.

Love between a man and a woman is beautiful. But that’s that not the only way to experience love. It’s odd in that you will find it many unexpected places. You will learn intimacy doesn’t need to come from sensual caresses. You will learn not to wait on a relationship, that joy, peace, adventure, connections, don’t need to be put on hold, but right then, as a whole person, you are free to experience it fully. I hope you learn contentment and fight these days that would rob you of freedom. Stay anchored to a godly community. Even if your time before this moment is stained, God has accounted for it in His story. You will have a beautiful life wherever He takes you.

Love,

Shanann

N.B. Error in name during recording is that of the author, not the narrator.

Would It Make A Difference?

I’d like to convince you to read your bible, but I am careful to not approach it loosely. Bible reading is a spiritual discipline. But that is who I want to appeal to in this post, your spiritual man.  Has it not been miserably unpredictable to fight without a Sword? This year has tried us and some of us found we weren’t gold but bramble. Our faith fled from beneath and left us on our faces crying, hoping we would just survive. Our faith was so fragile because our knowledge and belief was so limited. 2021 is coming and as a generation, we should learn from our mistakes, we should invest in reading our Bibles. Yet, at the heart, is it merely reading? Far from it actually, It is to have our hearts bowed, our minds engaged, our ears listening and our spiritual man feeding. Yes, we have tried Bible reading before, but what if we did that consistently? What if we mixed discipline, the Word and faith?  Would it make a difference?

I have always sought answers to rid myself of procrastination and selfish actions. Seeking also about my purpose, loving neighbor, serving my community, the ‘Christian’ stuff. But no matter the number of videos I watched, articles I read, or psychological tactics I followed, none of them worked. I was dealing with a state of rebellion and outright thirst for sin, that I couldn’t outrun even if I wanted to.

I often wonder if others aren’t extremely disturbed about the reality of evil in them. Evil that sleeps at our doors. No evil that decides it’s a permanent roommate. That in hearing the sermons and feeling the Spirit, it is not enough for the smell of stale vomit to draw us away. To find it pleasing, to pursue it, even at the expense of our conscience.

I ramble on in thought, what else do I need? What is the secret prayer or length of fasting? Maybe it is to detach from everyone, you know, no outside influences?  I dipped in the bagged candied Christian goodies and no quick fix helped. To live with a heart set on sinning and a mind that desires to please God is a torture that rips you apart from the inside. Subsequently, a friend reached out and asked that I joined them in studying a book of the Bible. This is what I found out:

  • Provides accountability
  • Awareness of Sin
  • Sharpened Sword for Battles
  • Deeper Understanding of God

Precious Thoughts’ passion is that we don’t sleep on the Word next year (Lord’s willing). We are labouring towards the freedom of youth everywhere, and we know it is by knowing truth that we experience liberty. His word is truth. We are completing next year (Lord’s willing), “90 Days New Testament Bible Challenge” that starts on January 1, 2021. Persons who sign up will receive email and WhatsApp (optional) daily reminders. They will have access to the plans (FREE), an opportunity for discussion on our social media platforms via Instagram and Facebook, community accountability and opportunity to inspire others with videos and other posts. The secret isn’t the 90 Day plan, the secret is the power of the Word hidden in a submitted heart. Our aim is not to birth a desire for scripture, that’s a spiritual endeavor, we want to strengthen that which is already present and help you get rid of distractions while we are at it. The beautiful thing is that we don’t have to wait until 2021. Our own pursuit of Christ (Truth), can start today. Choose a passage, book or theme you want from the bible, tell someone to keep you accountable and start reading!

I can make no further appeal than to those who are weary, thirsty, and heavy. To those of us who are restless of sinning and finding that you sinned for nothing. Those who experience pursuing the same old vomit, hoping it will taste good this one last time. No judgement here, I know the taste of revisited vomit too. But I don’t want that to be my bread anymore, I trust you don’t either. Click here for the sign-up form to receive plans via email. Despite how things may look, we believe in this generation!

All Except One

I have a story to tell
But I don't believe anyone wants to hear,
I can tell by the scrutiny on their faces
How unfamiliar the things that come out when I share
They tell me, "That's impossible"
They tell me, "That's not people-friendly"
But what they are really saying 
It's not necessary to be unashamedly me , 
All except one

I admit, I agree with them
Maybe I should take it down a bit
Have 'normal' interests, so others can comprehend
Not to think so deep
Not to be so 'sensitive'
I have wished to be somebody everyone wants to keep
So, I tried copying their tastes
To find my place
I could have pulled it off too, 
They believed it to be true 
All except one 


I didn't recognize me anymore
My real smile was absent,
My thoughts forgotten, 
And my feelings, well, dead.
My 'me-mess', hidden in a box,
Yet, I was 'normal' 
The voice with the story still managed to speak, 
In the hollow parts of my cheek
I tried, hard, to keep the mask. 
Yet the cracks kept appearing
No they didn't ask, they never ask
When I was alone, 
I tried hard to convince myself, this was enough for
All except one


It took rejection for me to see, 
Even if I was someone else 
They still wouldn’t have chosen me. 
Person after person, friend after friend,
They denied the one thing I sought. 
I remember the nights when with my soul I fought 
To be rejected because of who you are, 
Are the heights of pain,
Something I cannot explain. 
Maybe that’s why I haven’t told my story.
Maybe that’s why it’s hidden 
Because they wouldn’t understand 
And myself I couldn’t have forgiven 
Of course, all this is unknown to
All except one


To embrace me took a lot from that one, 
I couldn’t find the strength
I didn’t have the courage to be myself
I just wanted to pretend 
But I had run out of options to put on the shelf
Slowly, he gave me a shovel
I began digging for my mind, for my life
To my surprise, I found it but didn’t love it
How could he choose this for his wife?
It was worse than before, bitter, hurt, ashamed and condemning
It became my enemy like 
All except one 

Wounded, I open my heart to the one who gave his all
Little by little, I made him get closer, 
Until he was in the middle of my mess
And instead of running or requesting I get a 'helper'
He took up a broom and started cleaning
I stood clueless. 
Surely, there must be something I should do 
He read my mind and replied, ‘No, that’s why I died.’ 
Yet they didn’t see, they never see,
All except one 


There is still mess
But he hasn’t left
Teaching me his truth is the only thing I need to profess
I started loving me because he does 
Embracing my uniqueness because he saw them as good
He tells me, I am worthy of celebration as any creation would
I couldn’t tell this story because nobody would believe me, 
All except one

Identity Update

That’s how I started the year. This was the only way I could truly express my state of heart. My lifeline was the approval of men and if I didn’t get it, I would squirm in a corner, destitute, starving, burdened. But, to be pursued of God even like that is the best experience in the world! Guess what? He’s pursuing you too. Isn’t that amazing?

I listened this week “The Pursuit of God” by A. W. Tozer and fam, I was constantly draped. (I recently realized books were on Youtube! I know, I am late to that discovery but it doesn’t matter, I know now!) The ninth chapter was the most significant to me, it drove a wedge right into my heart.

Jesus spoke directly to the issue of burden and rest. The burden He was referring to was not of political oppression or poverty or hard work. What is the source of our burdens? Our own pride (self-love), pretense, jealousy, envy, and artificiality. As a result, we are never relaxed. Our culture is continually playing on these desires to appear what we are not.

Jesus calls us to rest, and meekness is His method. In His meekness is our rest. The meek man doesn’t care who is greater than himself, for he has decided that the esteem of the world is not his desire. The meek man has stopped being fooled about himself. He knows that he is as weak and helpless as God has declared him to be, but he also knows the great value and the esteemed place God has provided for him. The meek man’s motto is, “In myself, nothing; in God, everything.” The meek man rests, perfectly content to allow God to place His own values on him.

The Pursuit of God, Chapter Outline

“All I Need Is God”

A hundred pounds lifted from my back instantly. All I needed to do was to rest in God? I didn’t need to prove anything to anyone? You mean I can relax in public because I didn’t need to over filter anything? Whew. I’ve heard it before but when the dross clears from your heart, its secret places get discovered. You should spend some time meditating on that passage, paying special attention to ‘self-love‘. I trust you can see my error in the poem and perhaps in you.

To think when I wrote it tears smeared my screen and now, I have this ridiculous smile, feels beautifully strange. Even last time I was at a low, feeling estranged from God, turns out my idols stood between us. Idols of self and people pleasing. It’s amazing the power of the word, chastenings, fellowship, fasting and prayer. It’s amazing how the roads have led me here, seven months into the year. To be able to say, “All I need is God,” is no ‘hurry come up’ declaration or emotional stance. I realize that even when I don’t feel it and it helps me obey his commandments.

I don’t want you to be bound like me in pretense I nurtured. It becomes an unwanted vine, suffocating everything in its path. It blinded my eyes to all the love and acceptance around me. You don’t need seven months, you need a thirst. A thirst for rest and a weariness of the burdens you carry. Believe Him when He says,

28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

Matthew 11 (KJV)

How do You Live in that Rest?

Take up his yoke, deny yourself, take up the cross, do His will. Then learn of Him, get into his word, pray, fellowship with other believers. Then, anticipate the temptations to return to vines outside of God. Ensure you have a counter thought, promise or truth, look for the way of escape that’s provided. Precious, may we become meek, may we be ourselves, may we be bold enough to share our mess and imperfections, to seek only God’s approval and accept it, to be real with God and man.

Lastly, honour God in all things. Chapter 10 had these main point:

Paul’s exhortation to “do all to the glory of God” is an integral part of the sacred revelation and is to be accepted as the very Word of Truth.

It opens before us the possibility of making every act of our lives contribute to the glory of God. Paul specifically mentions “eating and drinking”; if these everyday acts can be so performed as to honor God, then it becomes difficult to conceive of one that cannot.

THE PURSUIT OF GOD, CHAPTER OUTLINE

That means, every moment I spend should be used glorifying God, whether on whatsapp, Facebook, netflix, quiet time, group outings, posts, everything. I don’t want you to think I have perfected this. Trust me, it’s a daily battle, but now, I am not fighting against me or God, we are fighting the sinful nature together.


What’s Next?

Other than more non-fiction posts, the long awaited Engraved Series continues next Friday! I have been musing on it and we are in for a treat. I can’t wait to see who picks up on the clues ! Yassss! I’m excited! Read Engraved: Doubts to refresh yourself on what happened last. Thanks to those who reached out to me, it has given me exxxtra motivation.

P.S. You are really a good listener, I hope to return the favour, reach out, shanyesica@gmail.com. If you liked this post and would like to receive more, sign up below! Remember, you are precious.

Unfulfilled Dreams

Some nights I wake up breathing heavily, paralyzed from fears realized in my dreams. Images of ravenous dogs, a pale man with bloody eyes and hair like fire standing by my window, men attempting to rape me and cryptic messages from the spiritual world taunt in the moments of expected rest. Some I forget after I have awoken and others follow me around like an unsolved puzzle. Even though these are terrifying to experience, there is one I am even more afraid of. It doesn’t find me asleep but leaves me trembling with my eyes wide open, taunting me with every tick of the clock. It’s the nightmare of living a wasted life.

Tales of a Dead Man 


I was at my desk reading a book when a co-worker came to sit in the lobby. As the receptionist from time to time, I now expect persons to drop by to just relax. The lobby is usually empty with sobering music in the background, probably it is the comfort of the chairs that feel like arms when you sit. Sometimes people just need a break, I understand that. Contrary to my trouble-maker friends, I don‘t see people as patients. I see them rather as my own self simply in a different form. I think, “What would I need in this moment? A voice of reason, rebuke or comfort? Or probably just an ear?” It gets easier overtime in telling which is required. It comes through connecting with the person.

I usually entertain a conversation when they initiate. More often than not, they have something on their minds. It’s interesting that when things are loud on the inside, we seek silence on the outside. 

I have a particular friend that only comes to keep me up to date with what’s happening in her life. Another comes to hear my views on relational things. Generally, the males ask me about my beliefs (spiritually or otherwise), they seem to enjoy debating ideas. (Yes, I believe Christians should have healthy relationships with the opposite sex.)


On this particular day, one of my friends (she is older so, not sure if I can call her that) was there for quite a while before she said anything. I should have known she wanted to talk. She made the usual grunts and moans when there was something pressing her. But the captivating book had me close to tears, I didn’t pull away until she just said, “Mi tyad yuh see.” (Translation- “I am tired”) She had never told me this before, being usually quite rested. She then reminded me of a funeral she had to attend over the weekend. I asked her about the details and she told me how awful the experience was. From the church arrangement due to the corona outbreak, the tributes, to the 5 month old baby who would never meet their mother to the burial ground proceedings. She mentioned something else which I won’t disclose and we started talking about her nephew that had recently passed. She described to me how heartbreaking it was and how grieved the community had been.

He was a role model, starting out with a small board house and then built himself up to erecting an extravagant house on the hill. But that wasn’t what really impacted me. She told me of his service to the community, how he cared for the elderly at his expense mentally, physically and emotionally. She spoke so passionately that I would have sought to meet him if he were still alive. He did all of this without so much as a title, national recognition or a massive amount of funds. Immediately a light went off in my mind. I have dreams of helping others. Dreams of being of service to fellow human beings and his story kicked the guts out of every excuse I had in my books. 

I know you have dreams, everyone does. A chat with the guys on the corner showed me that. Sometimes our dreams don’t unfold as how we would want them or at the right speed. That’s okay, I understand. I know the frustration that comes with aiming to make strides to accomplish something only to be met by a curve ball. This guy, didn’t wait for the perfect opportunity, he did what he could now. Don’t let the lofty heights of your goals stop you from starting or even finishing the climb. This sermon from Martin Luther King Jnr. was particularly encouraging to me. (I wanted to just take a clause, but my God you would have missed the meaning!)

Martin Luther King Jnr. (January, 1929-April, 1968)

“…So many of us in life start out building temples: temples of character, temples of justice, temples of peace. And so often we don’t finish them. Because life is like Schubert’s “Unfinished Symphony.” At so many points we start, we try, we set out to build our various temples. And I guess one of the great agonies of life is that we are constantly trying to finish that which is unfinishable. We are commanded to do that. And so we, like David, find ourselves in so many instances having to face the fact that our dreams are not fulfilled.

Now let us notice first that life is a continual story of shattered dreams. Mahatma Gandhi labored for years and years for the independence of his people. And through a powerful nonviolent revolution he was able to win that independence. For years the Indian people had been dominated politically, exploited economically, segregated and humiliated by foreign powers, and Gandhi struggled against it. He struggled to unite his own people, and nothing was greater in his mind than to have India’s one great, united country moving toward a higher destiny. This was his dream.

But Gandhi had to face the fact that he was assassinated and died with a broken heart, because that nation that he wanted to unite ended up being divided between India and Pakistan as a result of the conflict between the Hindus and the Moslems. Life is a long, continual story of setting out to build a great temple and not being able to finish it.

Woodrow Wilson dreamed a dream of a League of Nations, but he died before the promise was delivered.

The Apostle Paul talked one day about wanting to go to Spain. It was Paul’s greatest dream to go to Spain, to carry the gospel there. Paul never got to Spain. He ended up in a prison cell in Rome. This is the story of life.

So many of our forebearers used to sing about freedom. And they dreamed of the day that they would be able to get out of the bosom of slavery, the long night of injustice. And they used to sing little songs: “Nobody knows de trouble I seen, nobody knows but Jesus.” They thought about a better day as they dreamed their dream. And they would say, “I’m so glad the trouble don’t last always. By and by, by and by I’m going to lay down my heavy load.” And they used to sing it because of a powerful dream. But so many died without having the dream fulfilled.

And each of you this morning in some way is building some kind of temple. The struggle is always there. It gets discouraging sometimes. It gets very disenchanting sometimes. Some of us are trying to build a temple of peace. We speak out against war, we protest, but it seems that your head is going against a concrete wall. It seems to mean nothing. And so often as you set out to build the temple of peace you are left lonesome; you are left discouraged; you are left bewildered.

Well, that is the story of life. And the thing that makes me happy is that I can hear a voice crying through the vista of time, saying: “It may not come today or it may not come tomorrow, but it is well that it is within thine heart. It’s well that you are trying.” You may not see it. The dream may not be fulfilled, but it’s just good that you have a desire to bring it into reality. It’s well that it’s in thine heart.

…On this morning, if I can leave anything with you, let me urge you to be sure that you have a strong boat of faith. The winds are going to blow. The storms of disappointment are coming. The agonies and the anguishes of life are coming. And be sure that your boat is strong, and also be very sure that you have an anchor. In times like these, you need an anchor. And be very sure that your anchor holds.”

What Can You Do Today?

Maybe corona has delayed your plans a bit. Maybe even if the virus wasn’t a pandemic, factors would have still held you back. With social distancing and workers being sent home, we have extra time on our hands. I am encouraging us now more than ever to bond even more closely with each other. It is high time we look up from our own plans, schedules, meetings and let every man look on the business of his neighbour, figuratively and literally.  


Here are my tips during this season:


Spend some Serious Quality Time with God

Don’t waste your time (and I say this with not one bit of humour), as these days might be your last. Catch up on your reading of the scriptures. You can research the topic you have been wanting to know more about. Pray earnestly for yourself, your family, neighbours, this nation and the world. I personally believe God is just giving us a vacation to get closer to him.


Do some Honest Reflection

Ask these questions; 

Where am I?

Where am I going?

What is God’s directive for this season of my life?

How will you improve yourself and those around you?


Visit a Neighbour 

If the virus hasn’t been identified in your community, visit your neighbour. Even if you have nothing to take along with you, show your face, whether virtually or physically. Encourage them during this period. If they are alone and elderly help by taking out the garbage, cook a meal, give them medicine and call to check on them. Above all else, the Word behoves us to serve God by serving each other. Your neighbour might just be in need more than you can imagine. I encourage that use wisdom and much caution in doing this. 


Take up a Hobby or Perfect it

Do some reading, painting, voice training, writing, drawing, blast some music (if it doesn’t offend your neighbour), talking, (this is for my mother and my dearest extroverts), composing, etc. Whatever it is that you enjoy, do more of that. Do Not Sit in the house and panic over every update on the news. Some of which aren’t even true. Give room for the peace of God. 


Be Cautious in all your Dealings

Ensure you wash your hands or sanitize, eat healthily, stay active and rest. Laugh with your family members. If you live alone, call up some friends. 


Follow the Directives of your Pastor/Bishop

Some church service methods might change, that doesn’t mean we lack faith precious. Church services need not only to be hosted at ‘church’. If you disagree, then we have a greater problem to tackle. 

Tell Me Your Experience

I will be home (gladly) for the next seven days. I need not tell you that I will definitely enjoy them. I saw a meme, and it resonated so much with me. I think I will add it below. See you on Friday for an all new post in the Engraved Series. Things are getting interesting. Read the last post here. Please feel free to reach out to me during this period (shanyesica@gmail.com if you don’t have my number). How are you? How is the family? How are things in your neck of the woods? Remember, you are precious.

Introverts, talk truth!

Engraved: The Encounter

Pastor Montique called Mark before Adrian could tell him. Mark apologized and told they will definitely talk about soon. 

Pastor Montique was a statuesque man, even Mark, 6 feet, had to look up to him. He always seemed to always have a smile. Everything about him screamed, follow me. He had the poise, the voice, education and most of all, the hearts of the people. The children flocked him after church. Some came for sweets, others hug and some, to show off their art work from Sunday School. Impatient adults always never liked that he attended to everyone first before they needed his attention for ‘real’ issues. His team seemed to revere the dust under his feet. Dashing into action at his bidding. Mark had grown to love him. In more ways than he considered him, his mentor. He always checked up on him and encouraged him.  

“I saw your message. What did you want to talk about?” Pastor asked.

Mark pulled him closer to the wall and said, “I have been struggling financially…” Mark didn’t continue, he couldn’t. His pride stuck in his throat. Pastor quickly said, he understood, and he will see what he can do. Mark had this odd feeling when he heard his response. He said okay and thanked him in advance.

Sarah avoided Rachel the entire time. It was strange how easy it was. Rachel would have come up to her by now. She sat at the back looking ‘out of it’. She would ask her about it soon. But today, she couldn’t deal with a reminder of her terrible secret. She was going home for Ruth’s Birthday. She was turning six on Monday, and she vowed to make her favourite breakfast for her. 

Sarah’s mom, Grace, was a guru in the kitchen. They endowed the table with Curried Goat, Baked Chicken, Coconut-Cream Shrimp, Mashed Potatoes and Tossed Salad in Raspberry Dressing. 

It was a peaceful for her to watch her family. They laughed and teased each other.  Her father looked up after pecking his wife on the cheek. “Are you ok Sarah?” he said. 

For once she could say from her heart, “Yes dad, I am.”

Benjamin was in the middle of a hilarious story when they heard a knock on the door. Sarah’s father pulled away to see who it was. 

“Malcom!” Sarah heard and all the blood drained from her face. Her father responded, “Ray. What a pleasant surprise.” 

They were still hugging when they came in, “How long has it been? A year?” Malcom asked.

“Hardly, I was at the family reunion.” Ray said. Sarah shifted on the seat, remembering she faked sickness not to be there. He greeted everyone but his eyes lingered on Rachel. “Do you want a rag?” Grace asked. Sarah didn’t realize that her blouse had grown sweats marks. “I am fine.” she said and reached for her drink.

After dinner, the parents sent the children up. Ray and his wife were having problems. She didn’t want him home. So, he needed to stay there for the night. Ray said it was her overreacting and his brother believed, his easy going brother couldn’t have started the squabble. 

Sarah went to her room early. His presence alone made her edgy. She couldn’t afford her parents to see the truth. 

She covered in a grey blanket from head to toe listening to music. Or rather overthinking with music in the background. She relived the moment repeatedly. Her thoughts finally gave her a break when her eyes couldn’t stay open any longer. 

Slam!

Her eyes flew open. The darkness illuminated her confusion. But the person on top of her felt familiar. It was Ray. He turned on the lamp, placed his index finger on his thick lips, and motioned to the shiny metal in his hand. Sarah heard her heartbeat drumming in her ears. Ray started trying to find the end of the blanket. Sarah realized she couldn’t live through this again. She couldn’t give him power over her again. She stretched her hands towards lamp and smashed it in his head. Ray threw his hand to his temples, dropping the knife. Sarah quickly loose the sheets and stamped her foot in his groin. Scurrying off the bed, she ran to her parents’ room. Her father met her in the hallway with a machete in his hand. 

“What’s going on Sarah? Is someone in the house?” Her father questioned.

She didn’t know what to say, she only saw his expression move from surprise and then hardened. 

“Ray? Is that you?” Her father said: squinting. He lifted the blade of the machete. “What were you doing in my daughter’s room?” He thundered. Ray’s undone zip seemed to blow a gasket in Malcom’s mind. Ray was slender so Malcom easily pinned him to the ground. He lifted his fist and said, “How could you!?” His wife called him mid way and he rested his fist on the floor. Without turning around, he said, ” Call the police. We have a rapist in the house.” 

If the noise didn’t wake the children, the flashing lights did. They bewildered the children. Police came and detained Ray while others took statements. Sarah told them everything.  The Paramedic noticed Malcom’s breathing and checked his blood pressure. He urged it to calm himself down as his pressure was rising steadily. The neighbours started gathering on the street in front of them. 

The police interrupted and told Malcom they would do more investigations as they needed more evidence to go to trial. He might only face a fine for tonight. When they left, Grace tucked Ruth and Nathaniel into bed again. Trying her best to soothe them. 

When she came down, she found Malcom arguing with the fifteen-year-old Benjamin about going to his room. Benjamin had wanted to know what had happened, but his father insisted they needed to talk to Sarah alone first. He reluctantly obeyed and went to his room. Malcom beckoned for grace to sit beside him on the coach while Sarah sat on the pouffe in front of them. She started playing with the edge of her left sleeve. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” her father asked.

“He threatened me. He told me he would kill me and make it look like a suicide.” she admitted.

She saw an anger in her father that she never knew before. He didn’t utter a word, but his whole body showed what he was thinking. 

Her mom then asked, “When did it happen?”

“Last year around tax time, when he carried me home.” Sarah said.

Grace looked intently at Malcom, almost accusingly.  

She saw guilt tore up her father’s face. She didn’t want her father to blame himself or worse; she didn’t want him to feel that she blamed him either. She burst out into tears. Both her parents flew to her. Grabbing her and crying there for about an hour. 

Her father encouraged them to get some sleep, they would finish talking in the morning. Her mother slept with her for the night.  Warm tears awoke Sarah, but it wasn’t her own. She soon realized it was her mother’s. She was praying. Asking for help for their family. Sarah stayed still for a while and waited until she had long ended. She yarned and sat up in the bed. Her mother sat up too. She looked to her and said, “You are such a brave girl.” 

Sarah couldn’t help but nod like a complimented five-year-old. Then she remembered it was Ruth’s birthday. She ran to the bathroom and washed up. She started the breakfast and got to singing. She was putting the eggs on a plate when Benjamin came in with an expression she couldn’t read. He held out a paper to her. She took it and wished she could fall through the floor. It read, “School Teacher Accused of Raping Minister’s Daughter.

What’s Next!?

Things are getting stranger by the post! What would your advice to Sarah be!? Tell me in the comments or email me at shanyesica@gmail.com. The best advice will be given a special gift! Precious Thoughts will be having a give-away too for our tenth post in the series! Look out for that Next Friday at 5 pm!